A Childhood Tainted

A Childhood Tainted

Memories of latenight swims and lollipops.

Knowing what this indicates,

my heart drops.

Mommy was always busy,

This I understood.

A place of trust my mommy left me.

only because she thought it safe

and she knew she could.

An innocent brush here.

An innocent brush there.

I knew it was wrong,

In my mind I was screaming NO!

More then a lifetimes experience

and my whole life was already blown.

My supposed family,

my darkest enemy.

Brought touches of screams.

and kisses of devious schemes.

An innocence forcibly stripped.

A childhood tainted and ripped.

It was the way he held my hand.

That sent shivers of terror down my spine.

Being lead to a room,

akin to a chamber of demonic darkness.

Innocent tickles,

of trickling chills.

Leering smiles

that promised him great thrills.

You battered my childhood.

Stripped my spirit of clean.

Marked my innocent child body

with shame.

Riddled me with personal blame.

Made me trapped

in a cage built with rage.

Mistrust was grown within me.

Harboured self doubt about who I was to be.

You stole from me something precious.

Now I want it back.

My tears were once shed gold.

No more,

now tears of self scold,

and grimed with dirt and mold.

You forever darkened a part of me.

But that doesnt mean i will never be free.

My childhood you tainted.

My childhood soul rusted with sickening chains.

My foul captor no more.

Now as adult I am settling the score.

You cant freely take whats not yours.

A childhood you have tainted…

But Nothing More. 

© copyright 2010.  Terri Johnson

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